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Some of you may be aware of my work, primarily in music but also in so many other realms; fashion, food, art, activism, writing, culture. I grew up in Queens, New York, where I was surrounded by my Indian community but was also obsessed with the city around me. My world was graffiti and golgappas, skateboards and saris, music and Mughals. This is what my music sounds like and Veena is my way to introduce you to my world.
Veena started as many disparate pieces. In April 2020, I lost my father Gireesh to Covid-19. My mother, Veena, needed me. I moved to my parent’s house in Hicksville on Long Island to be there for her. This wasn't the home that I grew up in, but we found new ways to make it a home. In Hicksville we have a House of Donuts and a House of Dosa, and both are food landmarks. I wanted to bring Tony Bourdain here but I brought him to Queens instead.
My mother and I would sit on the floor, and she would massage warm coconut oil into my hair — for my health, for my mind, for my well-being. And while she did it, we would talk about how we felt, what we needed from each other to deal with our grief and loss.
I needed any healing I could get. I suffer from C-PTSD, PTSD, anxiety, depression, and body dysmorphia, a whole buffet of mental health torment. Or at least that’s what the doctors tell me!
I focused on spirituality more. I started exercising. I started a serious yoga practice. I started going to the Sikh house of worship and doing service, chopping vegetables in the kitchen with the aunties. I began to take care of myself because I realized I was worth it. And I realized something. If I wanted to help my mother heal, I had to heal as well.
After a long time, I found that I was able to think about stories again, in my music and elsewhere. I fantasized about the stories I wanted to tell and read. I wanted to represent the New York of the 90s and the early aughts. I don’t know what Dimes Square is and I miss the downtown I grew up in. I thought about my friends whose employers would never publish their writing. I wanted to create a space for them to write without having to appeal to advertisers or publish clickbait, and still get paid to do it. I wanted to build a place for these pieces — poetry, recipes, stories, essays, and whatever else. I wanted to do this for New York.
It dawned on me that I could help these stories be told alongside the products that had healed me while I was at home. I started working on designs. I connected with folks in India about natural products I could bring over to the U.S., like coconut oil, but also turmeric, jaggery (unrefined sugar), pink rock salt, and more. I visited farms and factories in Delhi, Gujarat, Tamil Nadu, and Kerala. I connected with farmers, artists, designers, and other inspirational folks that had gifts I don’t have. I returned to my music after six years. And I made a lot of songs! Now, I’m ready to share this world with you. We’re starting small, and I'm funding everything.
Our first issue of Veena magazine is themed MOTHERS. We'll release an issue three times a year, each following a theme that is a little like New York; broad, alive, and rooted in a lot of different places. We’ll also have more music, more designs (scarves!), and more exciting products over the next few months, alongside more stories, art, and events. Along the way, I’ll continue to heal, to listen, and to learn, and to share my story with others who might need it.
We’re called Veena after my mother. She’s my inspiration. I grew up alongside her fabrics, her colors, her songs, and her endless work ethic. She stood by me through a lot and I wanted to do something nice for her. But the veena is also an Indian musical instrument. Saraswati is the Hindu goddess of knowledge, music, art, speech, wisdom, and learning. In her two hands she holds the veena, a stringed instrument that represents the tuning of one's mind and body into harmony. This is why we are Veena.
